Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We are two peas in an std pod
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
