Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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