just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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