Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
