the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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