His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
