I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
