Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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