Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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