She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
