I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is wine microwaveable?
my shit smells like andre
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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