On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
