Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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