i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
