so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im part way to drunk.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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