he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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