Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
