My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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