im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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