that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
