i permit you to call me
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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