ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize