He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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