see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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