She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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