you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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