Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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