Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
