Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
