Sponge bath it is.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
