True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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