Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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