My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
