3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
