OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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