your thong is hanging out like whoa
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
