You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so let's talk penis.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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