You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need help removing her.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
