Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
