did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
