If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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