Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
