Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
