I cannot find my penis.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You need Xanax blowdarts
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
