Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
