DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
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Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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