no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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