He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize