forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
