You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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