That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
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Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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