i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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