I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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