I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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