i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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