After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
