the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize