why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.