I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting