If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
