Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?

(805): View more from California

Don't drive home.

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(619): do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ? (805): Don't drive home. http://tfl.nu/8ed1

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"

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(920): She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets" http://tfl.nu/73nd

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(703): View more from Virginia

one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.

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(703): one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day. http://tfl.nu/f2q9

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(740): View more from Ohio

at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

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(740): at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!! http://tfl.nu/mp48

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.

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(814): I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer. http://tfl.nu/a96i

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(205): View more from Alabama

i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers

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(205): i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers http://tfl.nu/g3p7

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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(248): Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it. http://tfl.nu/bw3w

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.

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(724): Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately. http://tfl.nu/qxtl

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(507): View more from Minnesota

currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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(507): currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing. http://tfl.nu/nh19

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

Figured I'd get right to the point

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(215): My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up." (1-215): Figured I'd get right to the point http://tfl.nu/wgkv

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(214): View more from Texas

Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

(1-214): View more from Texas

I love you.

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(214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz

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(562): View more from California

Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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(562): Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car http://tfl.nu/galf

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(972): View more from Texas

Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

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(972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie

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(805): View more from California

Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.

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(805): Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones. http://tfl.nu/uefm

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(714): View more from California

So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.

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(714): So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3b6z

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