It's like God shit irony all over that family
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms