Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
