I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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