You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
