At least make sure they are 18
Why
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
