Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
