this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.