It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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