Soap is not a condiment
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.