my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street