Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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