i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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