Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
