i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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