Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
