is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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